everybody’s falling in love and i’m falling behind

i think love is a language everyone speaks but me.

i think when you’re in love,

there’s a certain warmth that coats your body.

the sun shines just a little brighter.

there’s a smile that splits across your face—

the kind that makes your cheeks hurt.

and airy giggles that make your stomach cramp.

you feel warm, even when it rains.

but when you’re not in love,

what then?

does the sun stop shining?

are you waiting in the dark?

or are you blooming in silence?

when you’re not in love,

your bed feels wider.

the silence between songs stretches longer.

you check your phone less—

there’s no one to text, and nothing to wait for.

everybody’s falling in love.

everybody’s going somewhere—

hand in hand, lips to lips.

and i’m not.

i’m still here.

alone, in the quiet.

sometimes i wonder if i missed something.

if i blinked and love passed me by.

am i that hard to love—

or just hard to find.

i yearn.

not just for someone.

for anyone.

for the sun that shines.

for the laughter that hurts.

for the butterflies that swarm.

i want to be held without asking.

i want to wake up and not feel

like i’m late to something i can’t name.

i don’t know if i’m missing out,

or just moving at my own pace.

everyone else is sprinting.

i’m just learning how to walk.

maybe i’m not falling behind.

maybe i’m growing roots.

maybe this slowness is sacred.

i ache for something soft.

something real.

someone who sees me—

not almost,

but all the way.

i think when you fall in love, the sun comes back.

but for now, i’ll sit here in the shade.

and i’ll keep blooming—softly, quietly,

even if no one’s watching.

because i’ve learned how to sit in the stillness.

and that’s something, too.

from the in between,

gail <3